Post by Chad Kolessar on Apr 21, 2014 2:23:34 GMT -5
My name is Chad. I decided to start this forum as a place for dads of heart babies to meet up with other dads and talk about whatever they need to talk about. I am just doing this as a trial period using this free forum to see how this expands. I am by no means a writer of any sort so please go easy on me lol.
I know it seems that everything is always geared towards the moms when it comes to the feelings that go surging through you on that day you find out that there is something wrong with your baby's heart, whether it be in utero or months after your child is born, you still have most of the same feelings that the mom has. Now don't take this that I am mom bashing or anything because I am in no way doing that! Moms go through so much more than we do and usually blame themselves on what's wrong with the baby. But, I don't care who you are or think that you are too much of a man to let anything bother you because I know that it does, at least it did for me! We all can't keep these things to ourselves....
Sometimes you just don't want to upset the mom any more than she is so you might not want to talk about certain things with her (keeping in mind that more than likely she is blaming herself for this and you should definitely make sure that you do everything in your power to put her more at ease with those feelings). This is where this forum comes in. I have been asked many things and sometimes I don't have any answer for them but I always try my best.
My wife is a member of a heart moms group and they have been great for her! She is very involved with them. They were pondering, at one time, about starting a heart dads group but there was not a very big following and decided against it. The census was that they didn't think the men would go to these meetings and discuss these things. Maybe they wouldn't... Maybe they would... It's up to them and you what you want to put out there. You don't have to put anything out if you don't want to, but, it is here if you decide to!
I know it seems that everything is always geared towards the moms when it comes to the feelings that go surging through you on that day you find out that there is something wrong with your baby's heart, whether it be in utero or months after your child is born, you still have most of the same feelings that the mom has. Now don't take this that I am mom bashing or anything because I am in no way doing that! Moms go through so much more than we do and usually blame themselves on what's wrong with the baby. But, I don't care who you are or think that you are too much of a man to let anything bother you because I know that it does, at least it did for me! We all can't keep these things to ourselves....
Sometimes you just don't want to upset the mom any more than she is so you might not want to talk about certain things with her (keeping in mind that more than likely she is blaming herself for this and you should definitely make sure that you do everything in your power to put her more at ease with those feelings). This is where this forum comes in. I have been asked many things and sometimes I don't have any answer for them but I always try my best.
My wife is a member of a heart moms group and they have been great for her! She is very involved with them. They were pondering, at one time, about starting a heart dads group but there was not a very big following and decided against it. The census was that they didn't think the men would go to these meetings and discuss these things. Maybe they wouldn't... Maybe they would... It's up to them and you what you want to put out there. You don't have to put anything out if you don't want to, but, it is here if you decide to!